I’d considered writing a post to commemorate my greatest achievements of 2015, but I got stuck after Had My Tweet Featured In The Buzzfeed Roundup Of The Best Of #ParksAndHam so I gave up on that idea pretty quickly.
Then, I inevitably thought about writing a post about New Year Resolutions, but I ruled that out too since I am consistently inconsistent and terrible at keeping them. January is an awful time of year to try to start anything difficult – it is cold and dark and dreary, and is a time for books and blankets and lethargy and tea.
I need to sneak up on myself with resolutions, anyway. The most successful new habit forming initiative I ever completed was not in January, but in March 2012, when Official Internet Clean Person Jolie Kerr had us all make our beds and I discovered the transformative power of a neatly straightened duvet. It’s embarrassing to admit that I was in my mid twenties before I was regularly undertaking this basic adult task, but I try not to focus on the 25 years that I wasn’t making my bed and instead to think about the nearly-4-years that I have been. It set me on a path to becoming Not A Complete Slattern, which is important because although my natural state of being is intensely messy, I hate living in mess and dirt.
So, while resolutions might not be my bag, here are some small habits I’d quite like to trick myself into forming in 2016. Not all of them at once, perhaps – and maybe none in the first gloomy week of January. But, dear self, here are some straightforward things you could do this year that would definitely make you happier.
Eat breakfast before you leave the house. This should not be as hard for you as it is; you love eating. You could easily find the ten minutes you need to do this if you didn’t try to read The Whole Of Twitter before you left for work in the morning.
Bring a packed lunch more often than you buy lunch out. You earn a bit less money in your new job, and pay more for travel. You cannot afford to eat lunch out every day. You have a great lunchbox. Stop being dazzled by having more than three places you can buy lunch, now that you’re not working in Chiswick.
Musing: Am I predisposed to not want a packed lunch because I always had an ice cream tub or a tomato-stained Tupperware rather than a much-coveted Forever Friends lunchbox? If yes, is it time to move on from perceived wrongs of two decades ago?
Do your washing before your laundry basket is full. You only wear about five different things, anyway – this should not be as hard as it is.
Related: work out how to clean the washing machine because that weird grey-brown sludge that builds up round the seal is disgusting.
Walk the last bit of your commute instead of miserably trudging and squidging at Bank. You like walking; it makes you happy. You hate changing at Bank; it makes you sad. It would add no more than 10 minutes to your journey if you walked from Liverpool Street. Do the right thing.
Wear your glasses. You are always delighted and amazed by how clear the television is when you remember to put them on.
Blog more. It is good for your brain.
Oh look, I have tricked myself into writing a resolutions post anyway. Don’t make any sudden movements; I am flighty and might startle if I realise.
Here’s to a marvellous 2016, blogpals. I hope it brings you wonderful things. Happy new year, happy new year, happy new year.